I think within the week of our wedding day people were already asking, "So, when are y'all gonna have babies." At the time we wanted to wait a little while, we needed to get used to living together and getting in to a regular routine.
Why is it acceptable to ask "When are you going to have babies?" I mean, that IS a really personal question. Think about it! Maybe the couple is not ready to have children or maybe they are not financially stable at the time. Very possibly the couple may not want to have children at all. None of these answers are anyones business.
OR MY ANSWER:
After a year of being married my husband and I decided that it would be a good time to "not prevent" getting pregnant. Another year rolled around and NOTHING. Still all the while friends and family asking "Well are you guys going to have kids?" At this time I start to realize something's not right... I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and we discussed what I needed to do. I was put on medication to regulate my cycle and had to have an ultrasound to check out my ovaries. The medication worked and I started using the Clear blue Easy Fertility Monitor (every... single... day). With the monitor I was able to see that I was not ovulating. By this time we were thinking things were not looking so good for us. My OB/GYN suggested I go back to the imaging center to have another ultrasound and an HSG dye test. This test is really uncomfortable, but I got good news, there was no blockage. The radiologist also told me "Many people will get pregnant after this test since everything has been flushed." I left that appointment on cloud 9. At the 2 year mark and countless friends having babies later I really started to lose hope. My OB/GYN decided at this point to start me on a round of 50 mg Clomid. I continued to use the OPK (ovulation predictor kit) daily. I GOT IT! I got the peak symbol saying that this is it! Less than 2 weeks later Aunt Flo arrived and I am crushed. Another round of 50 mg Clomid makes me ovulate again but does not result in pregnancy. The OB decided we would do one more round with Clomid before I am referred to a fertility specialist, this time 100 mg. Again I got the peak symbol but no baby. I started noticing that my cycles were too close to ovulation.
I made my appointment with the Fertility Institute of New Orleans, I was very excited about finding out what my options were. At this appointment I discussed the luteal phase defect with the doctor and she believed that, in fact that is my problem. To help prevent this defect I was put on Prometrium, I take this starting 3 days after ovulation. I am still in this phase, and will be having yet another ultrasound with in the month.
Infertility is not something that is easy to deal with or is there a simple answer for many people. Maybe the question of "When are you having children" should be added to the list of forbidden things to ask a woman.
Ashley, I totally agree. It took me a year to conceive my first child and when that's all that you want, it feels like forever. I was addicted to ttc websites and learned so much, not just about my body, but about what so many women were struggling with. I had no idea. 3 years after conceiving my first child, I continue to stalk these websites to offer hope for women who are going through exactly what you are, and I can assure you, it WILL happen. I witness it every day. The beauty of your story is that you are aware of the problem and you now have a solution. Don't lose hope and stay positive. Good things do come to those who are patient and kind. And when the time is right for you, you will be a mother. I will be keeping you in my prayers, love. xoxo
ReplyDelete